Missing the Stars



I have this feeling in my chest. I can't put a finger on what it is, but I know what I want.


It's something to do with cool mornings and gentle wind, cloudy skies and birdsong. It's why I'm sitting in the grass today instead of on my bedroom floor. It's something I want to breathe into my soul, but when I inhale I find only the smell of warm grass. It's better than nothing, I guess.


I miss the stars. I can't see them the same at home.


I miss a lot of things.


Maybe I miss the water surrounding me, or journaling alone on the beach, or napping awkwardly sprawled across a kayak. Splashing my hands in the water. The river. The sun and the sand and the mud and the rocks. I miss being only a passenger to the water's destination.


Maybe I miss the feeling of being surrounded by ancient beings and spending days wandering through their domain. I miss running my fingers across their bark, awestruck by their size, age, sturdiness. Mountains. Wandering above the clouds. Brand new views and surroundings with every step I took.


I miss the kinds of things that calm me on the inhale and make me giddy with excitement on the exhale. 


I miss nature, mostly, and the grass in my backyard isn't quite cutting it for me.


Indoors is stifling. I want to wander, explore, appreciate. I want to stare at the stars and let them stare back and think about how the light I see is thousands of years old.


I want to see the small and intricate things and the sunlight through the trees.


I want to wake up in the cold knowing that there's something out there for me other than the walls of my room. Something worth getting up for.


There's so much world out there, and I want to exist in it. That's all.

Comments

  1. Even though I haven't been to any places that look anything like the ones in these beautiful photographs lately, just reading the words you've written and looking at your photos stirs my memories of how it looked smelled and felt to experience being out in natural settings like those. Thanks for the reminder. I am very thankful that you exist here.

    https://full-brief-panties.blogspot.com/

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  2. Oh WOW I loved this so much 😍😍 It's so whimsical and aesthetic and it genuinely made me yearn for something too, something more natural and magical than my everyday life... Honestly... I can't quite put into words how much this spoke to me or how deeply it touched me, I love it 😍 Thank you for this. Brb going to lie on the grass and look up at the stars now

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    Replies
    1. I'm so glad you liked it! I hope you can see some stars.

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  3. Really pretty photography! The one thing I noted in the tone onf your writing though is it seemed like almost a sense of lonliness and possibly a tinge of depression I am probably making a big deal out of nothing but , Lanie, are you doing ok?

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    1. Thank you! I'm doing alright, but I appreciate the concern.

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    2. you're welcome. Glad you're ok. : )

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  4. This....is beautiful. This expressed so perfectly the yearning my soul feels so often. At the end of the day, there's nothing more beautiful than nature. Beautiful isn't the right word. Breathtaking, awe-inspiring, wonderful. I love that you have put this into words so magnificently. This spoke to something deep inside of me...I don't know exactly what...that something that was born to gaze upon the stars.

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  5. This is beautiful. :) I love the poem and the photos. Also I get the feeling that you describe a lot. I feel like humans have to accept that they are apart of nature, and they can't really separate themselves from it.
    -Quinley

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